As news continues to trickle in concerning 18-year old Spanish standout Ricard “Ricky” Rubio’s decision to forego an NBA career for two years in favor of spending more time in Europe, so do rumors of what Rubio’s eventual reasoning was. Reputable sources of the Sports Sandwich say that it can be traced back to former governor, professional wrestler, Navy SEAL, and Minnesota Timberwolves fan Jesse Ventura, who was reportedly furious with his team’s selection of Rubio in the 2009 NBA Draft. According to our sources, Ventura confronted Timberwolves general manager David Kahn and Rubio in Spain just yesterday, after the latter agreed in principle to sign with Minnesota. A video that emerged on the popular video-sharing site YouTube shows the 280 lb Ventura sending the 190 lb Rubio into the fetal position courtesy of booming roars that have been known to reduce grown men to tears.

“I wanted Stephen Curry, damnit,” the steaming Ventura shouted in the direction of GM Kahn. “KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN.” Turning his attention back to the diminutive Rubio, “Don’t step into my state!”

Part-time NFL cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones reportedly signed a one year contract with the Canadian Football League’s little-known Winnipeg Blue Bombers, marking what associates of Pacman believe will be a “triumphant return” for the former first-round draft pick and star at the University of West Virginia.

In a conference call this morning, Winnipeg’s director of player personnel John Murphy complemented the 25-year old for his “commitment,” “hard to come by leadership skills,” “do good attitude,” and “knack for attracting attention.”

Pacman is rumored has no intention of using the CFL as a stepping stone to NFL, and reportedly Canada’s healthcare system played a major role in the decision. “I’ve been religiously following all the news surrounding healthcare reform here in America,” said Pacman, “but I’ve become disillusioned by the rather raucous turn the discourse has taken. Canadian healthcare is everything American health is not.” He would later add that he expected “to have a blast” in the CFL.